Ginsu Soul
by bonessasan
Summary: A collection of drabbles regarding how Soul uses/abuses his weapon abilities. Plotbunny that wouldn't let the author sleep one night.
1. The Beginning

A/N: This was an idea that popped in my head one night when I couldn't sleep. It'll be mainly drabbles/vignettes. I currently have about three or four different ideas, though it could go longer. We'll just have to wait and see. Obviously I don't own Soul Eater. Does anyone even really need to explain that they don't own the show/book/comic/whatever that they're writing a fic for anymore? Seems self explanatory, but I digress . . .

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Ginsu Soul

The Beginning

It was late in the afternoon on the day that Soul and Maka moved into their shared apartment and despite all the hard work, Maka still seemed to have energy to burn. All they had really accomplished by this point was getting all the boxes of their things moved into the appropriate rooms but none of the boxes had been unpacked, the tape still sealing them all shut. They had, however, gone grocery shopping and were in the process of putting the food away.

"Hey Soul, do you know where the knives are?" Maka asked as she walked deeper into the kitchen, shoving a box that was in her way to the side with her foot.

"Knives? I don't have any. Do you?" He was reclining against the counter with his arms crossed, the picture of nonchalance.

"Great! How am I supposed to trim the chicken before I cook it?" Maka swiped at her forehead in frustration.  
"I know you said you can cook, but just how well do you cook? You aren't going to burn the apartment down, are you? We did just move in."

"Ha ha," she replied, humorlessly. "I'll be cooking some oven fried chicken just as soon as I can find something to trim the chicken with. Then you can judge how well I cook."

"That's awesome. Are you going to cook every night?" Their partnership was too new and they hadn't really hashed out any of the finer details just yet.

Maka glared at him. "No."

It was a cold and blunt reply, but Soul forged ahead anyway. "I guess as long as you cook enough every other night that we can eat leftovers on the 'off' nights that won't be too bad."

"I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be the only one cooking, Soul. I think we should trade off."

She had a point, so Soul just shrugged and nodded his head.

She seemed satisfied with his answer and turned her attention to the problem at hand. "The least you can do is help me start prepping. I need a plate with flour, a plate with a mixture of one egg, some soy sauce, and a touch of water, and another plate with bread crumbs. I'll unpack the glass baking dish and heat the oven. Too bad I need a knife for cutting the broccoli, too. If I can't think of something to cut the chicken with we can at least just tear it apa-AH!"

Soul jumped at the sudden cry. "What?! What is it?!"

"Can you turn one of your fingers into a knife?" The look on her face was pure hope, her hands clasped in front of her in supplication.

He sneered. "Look, I'm not a tool you can use to just cut through whatever."

Maka gave an inelegant snort and replied, "I'm pretty sure that's exactly what you are. I'm your meister and I'm asking you to help me trim the chicken using your weapon ability."

Soul turned his right index finger into a blade and stared at it in contemplation for a few seconds, sighed, and nodded.

* * *

The next day when Maka got home from school, she found a brand new butcher block with high end knives that looked like they could slice a hair in half lengthwise sitting on the counter, adorned with a bow. She smiled then called, "So what are we having for dinner tonight, Soul?"

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I hope that you liked this and ask that you leave a review. Even something as simple as "Nice" or "The conversation didn't flow right" would be appreciated. Otherwise I have no idea if people loved/hated/tolerated what I wrote. It makes me itchy.


	2. Chores

A/N: This is probably the shortest (and potentially lamest) of the Ginsu Soul series, but there were parts of it that made me laugh enough that I thought I'd share anyway.

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Chores

Black*Star was thinking one afternoon about weapons and their abilities. Some weapons had other things they could use their abilities for other than just fighting. Jacque, for example, could be used instead of a flashlight. Or to start a fire, no matches necessary. But Soul probably could do the most.

He could trim the grass with his abilities if he really wanted to. But Black*Star thought that was a silly idea. A lawnmower would be a lot faster and a lot less work. He knew his friend Soul well enough to know that Soul was all about doing things the way that required the least amount of effort. Using his abilities to cut the grass would take a lot of effort.

Plus, hadn't he heard once that the smell of fresh cut grass was actually a distress signal? (and you like it, you sick, sadistic bastards!)

Besides, Soul and Maka didn't really have a lawn. Their apartment complex didn't even really have a yard . . .

Black*Star figured Soul probably _could_ do yard work with his scythe abilities, but it wasn't very likely.

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Short and kinda lame. That's why I'm posting two chapters today. I'll probably be posting about once a week; that seems to be my maximum.

Responses:

Tanya – Thank you!

pizzafan123 – Eh heh, hehehe. Romance? Me? Never! *laughs nervously* Ok, so truthfully I'm a total romantic but that wasn't really what I wanted this collection to focus on. It's funny, I never really thought about whether or not what I wrote would fit as a scene in the show until you said it. I'm flattered!

Guest – I have to admit I was surprised when I read your review. I guess I wasn't expecting any reviews that were that, uh, strong. It's a little embarrassing, but I actually read over what I write about five times before I post it, just to make sure that things flow and that everything makes sense and my spelling and punctuation are acceptable. I'm glad people notice! Thank you. :3 (makes me feel kinda bad posting this POS)


	3. Hygiene

Hygiene

Every now and then Soul would take forever in the bathroom. Maka was curious, but respected his privacy enough that she never asked him what he was doing. Usually she let him take as long as he wanted and acted like she never noticed.

She would have continued doing that but on one particular day she was given no choice. Their apartment only had one bathroom and she didn't really know anyone else in their building. She had an emergency and her emergency wasn't really the type that you foist on a mere acquaintance.

"Hey, let me drop a stink bomb in your apartment and leave. Oh, by the way, my name is Maka. I live in the apartment across the hall," she thought, then snorted. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. Clutching her legs together as best she could, she waddled over to the bathroom door and pounded on it with all her might and heard a yelp inside.

"Soul, I'm really sorry but I need to use the bathroom. It's an emergency! Did you just squeak?"

The door whipped open and her eyes widened as her hair was pulled towards the bathroom by the change in air pressure. Soul was bleeding!

"What the heck, are you some sort of cutter?! I know Shinigama-sama just confiscated the 99 kishin eggs we collected because of the Blair incident, but that's no reason to abuse or try to kill yourself!" she yelled, trying to get a closer look at his neck. She also noticed that he had transformed one of his fingers into a knife.

"Why the hell did you bang on the door like that? It made me jump and cut myself!" Soul seemed more irritated than ashamed.

"What were you doing?" she asked warily, then noticed a white foam on part of his face. "Wait, were you shaving? With your _finger_? I didn't think you had to shave yet . . ."

The part of his face that wasn't covered in shaving cream pinkened a little. "I'm not old enough to have full on facial hair but there's enough that if I don't shave I look like a mangy hobo," he replied, not looking her in the eye.

"A mangy . . . hobo . . . ?" she asked, trying not to sound too amused as she imagined what that would look like. Then she got an urgent reminder of why she had interrupted Soul in the first place.

She marched into the bathroom, then unceremoniously shoved him out. "It's an emergency. You might want to finish shaving your hobo fuzz in the kitchen," she suggested, then slammed the bathroom door in his face.

The sounds that emanated from the small room told Soul that she was probably right, so he sauntered into the kitchen where he used a spoon as a mirror to finish shaving. Unfortunately, because the spoon warped his reflection and flipped it upside down, he nicked himself several times.

The next day at school Liz and Black*Star nearly passed out from laughing, Patti laughed and accidentally shoved him to the floor by slapping him on the back too hard, Tsubaki tried to hide a giggle behind her hand and Kid got a nosebleed and passed out because the nicks weren't symmetrical. The look of potential rage and violence on Maka's face prevented Soul from revealing the part she'd played in him having done such a horrible job shaving.

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Somehow this turned out a little more crack-ish than I thought it would but it made me laugh. Probably more than it should have. Something about the last sentence doesn't seem quite right to me but I'm not sure how to fix it. Oh well! I probably have two more ideas/chapters for this series, then it'll be done. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!


	4. Vengeance

A/N: It occurred to me that there was something I could have added to the first chapter. Maka wouldn't have been out of luck if they didn't have a can opener, either. "Hey, Soul, c'mere. I need your teeth to open this can of Vienna Sausages." Anyway, this is another chapter that may be a touch on the weak side a la Chapter 2: Chores, hence a midweek post. I'm thinking I'll likely post another on Saturday or Sunday.

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Vengeance

Sometimes people just didn't know when to quit. A perfect example of this would be Ox Ford. Soul didn't usually pay the nerd too much attention, but today it couldn't be helped.

"So, Maka, it appears that my score on the last test beat yours by one point," Ox said, smirking as he shoved his glasses further up his nose causing them to flash with reflected light. He had turned around in his seat so Maka could see his gloating face. Where did someone find weird glasses like that anyway? Not that Soul particularly cared, it was just an idle thought that struck him as he watched the spear master, feeling rather bored.

"Hmpf! You know I had the flu last week and couldn't study as much as I wanted. You wouldn't have beaten me without that handicap."

"Maka, you and I both know that isn't the truth. I'm simply smarter than you," Ox said. Was that smug smirk starting to look sinister?

"I score higher than you on most tests and assignments," Maka replied, a vein starting to pop out on her forehead. It was getting bigger and bigger. If it had been Soul making her that angry, a book would have found itself nestled deeply into his skull. Soul sighed a little at the knowledge that Maka wouldn't Maka Chop Ox; he was starting to wonder if it was a love tap she saved especially for him.

"The scores don't mean anything, I have been and always will be smarter than you," Ox continued.

Maka had opened her mouth to reply but before she could utter a word, there was a 'whoosh!' along with a red-black blur that circled around horizontally just above Ox's head. The room went silent as all eyes turned toward the small group. Slowly, the two hair spikes slid off Ox's head.

"You know, Ox, you go on and on about how your pillars give you the wisdom to know how to save those you love and strength to protect your friends. I don't think it would hurt if you had a 'pillar' for 'wisdom to fear those stronger than you.' Maybe you should work on growing a third pillar," Soul said, his calm voice not matching the violence he had just unleashed. "Hey, Kim," he said, causing the pink haired girl to flinch a little. "Think you could repair your boyfriend's hair and tell him to leave my meister alone?"

Kim looked annoyed as she picked up Ox's disembodied hair and reattached both with her regenerative powers. "Why should I do that?"

Soul rifled around in his pocket and produced a $10 bill. He held it out to her and she grabbed it without hesitation.

"Ox, darling," she said sweetly, "Do you think you could stop teasing Maka for scoring better than she did? For me?"

Ox was overjoyed that Kim didn't deny him being her boyfriend. He looked up at her with loving eyes and nodded his head.

"Don't move so much! I haven't finished reattaching your pillars," she scolded.

Behind them, Soul was being scolded, too. "You really shouldn't use your scythe abilities like that," Maka said. She was trying to look grumpy, but Soul could tell that she was fighting off a smile.

"Yeah, you're probably right. But it was worth it."

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Responses:

ElferSmall – Childish? I prefer the term "silly." I tried reading my favorite part (that still makes me chuckle almost a week later) to my mom and she just looked at me like, "Oh . . . eh heh. Heh." ^^; And I can understand the first chapter being kinda gross. It was actually based on my first couple nights being away at school. I didn't have any knives but needed to cut up some chicken before I Foreman'd (yeah, I made it a verb) them. I ended up tearing it up with my bare hands. It was really gross. As for writing a bunch more of these, I really only have . . . uh . . . *counts on fingers* about two more ideas. If I can think of any more than it will be longer. But I'm thinking there will be only two more chapters.

Natasha – Thank you! I'm glad you thought so.


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